


And You're Everything

by AliceLoveCats



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 07:44:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17576747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceLoveCats/pseuds/AliceLoveCats
Summary: Have you ever heard of the right person at the wrong time?





	And You're Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! An addition to the trigger warning I've put up there; the fic will contain inexplicit rape and abuse, you know yourself best so please put this into consideration... I love you! And all the songs I use as a reference in this fic is by the one and only Oh Wonder. The songs in case you want to listen to them (In order of lyric appearance) :
> 
>  
> 
> All We Do
> 
> Technicolor beat
> 
> My Friends
> 
>  
> 
> That’s all and here you go~

 

"Mino, the new tenant is coming tomorrow, they'll stay for a month.. clean the house will you?"

 

"Alright," Mino said, raising from the couch where he's been laying on for hours since the morning. Mino yawns as his grandmother strokes his now soft black hair. Mino colored his hair so many times during college it turns dry and horrible. But two weeks at his grandma's house and his hair already look better thanks to her nagging and natural oil. Mino's grandma lives in a village in the countryside, along with nature and all its goodness. Four years of college in Seoul turned Mino cold and tired of cities and it's noise so as soon as he graduated Mino took a long, no limit holiday at his grandma's house. She owns two houses, the one Mino is staying in now and another house she opens for rent during the holiday. It's a pretty, traditional house with touches of modernity here and there too keep things easy for the tenants. It's almost similar to grandma's house, but her house feels warmer and has details only an occupied house can have. Washed clothes hanging on the backyard, fuming kitchen, sandals on the porch, fresh flowers on the vase every a few days. Mino loves the place and the neighbors.

 

Mino walks the pebble road towards the house by the lake, isolated from others. It was meant to give the tenants, usually city monger, to have a taste of calm and fresh air. It's surrounded by lush tall grass and a single tree beside the house that gives of the ethnicity feel. It's pretty. Grandma usually asks help from kids around the village to clean the house, treating them to cakes after. But because Mino is there with nothing to do, she chooses to utilize his conserved energy. And Mino doesn't mind.

 

Mino arrived at the house, taking a deep inhale as he tries to open the front door. The smell of water from the lake feels good in his lungs. He opens the house to find it as tidy as ever, only a layer of dust and some spiderwebs around the surfaces. Mino walks past the hall to the balcony, opening wide the glass door. He forgoes of his jacket, leaving only a black wifebeater on his top and a training pants. He starts cleaning the house with a song playing on his phone. He presses randomize and let the phone choose what's his music for the day.

 

 

A familiar piano tune from a song he hasn't listen to for a while greets him with a pleasant feeling.

 

_All we do is hide away_

_All we do is, all we do is hide away_

_All we do is chase the day_

_All we do is, all we do is chase the day_

 

Mino puts on a white baby's breath flower inside the vase on the living room's cupboard.

 

 

: :

 

 

Grandma greets someone at the front door and talks with a very cheerful voice. It's probably the tenant, Mino thought. She's gonna tell Mino to fetch them to the lake house in a bit so Mino rises from his seat on the balcony where he spent the day drawing on his notebook. He stretches and took his navy blue jacket from the hanger beside his drawer.

 

"Mino! Come down," she calls. Thought so, Mino said to himself. He walks down the stairs to the first floor already in his jeans and jacket, planning to bring them there and come back asap. He's in the middle of a good feeling with his drawing.

 

"Yes, he graduated from an art college.. he's always been an amazing painter since he's still a kid, and I'm glad my daughter is not close-minded and she supports his pursue in art,"

 

Mino rolls his eyes, typical of grandma to talk all about him to strangers. Mino reached the last step of the stairs and finds the person his grandma has been boasting to.

 

Mino stops on his track almost immediately.

 

"Mino, this is Kang Seungyoon.. he's the one that will stay at the lake house," grandma says.

 

Kang Seungyoon. Mino doesn't know what's taking a toll on his breathing. His smile, his eyes, or his name. He's tall, white almost glassy skin, black hair, and pinkish lips. A huge backpack on his bag and a guitar case on his hands. His fingers are long and slim, almost like peach tree twigs. He makes Mino think of blue paints.

 

"And over there is Oh Hyunjun, they will live there together," Grandma said her usual warm smile.

 

Oh, right. 'tenants', plural. Oh Hyunjun is a handsome, tall, strong build man. His strong jaw and sharp eyes can easily make people quiver. Probably a year or two older than Mino, he guesses.

 

Mino managed to bow at both them, after collecting his mind.

 

"You must be very tired, let my grandson show you the way to the house. Use the car, Mino-ya,"

 

: :

 

Hyunjun sat on the front with Mino, Seungyoon in the back holding his guitar to his chest. Mino can see the way his eyes stare blankly outside the car window everytime he looks at the rear mirror. Hyunjun tries to engage Mino in small talks, asking about this and that. Too bad they're both too awkward for it. But if anything, Mino caught a rather gentle side of the man, albeit his appearance.

 

"Is that a sunflower field?" Seungyoon asked, for the first time along the car ride.

 

"Yeah, it is. And it's blooming time in a few days, it will look like a yellow blanket atop a green bed." Mino answered.

 

He smiles, and Mino catches it.

 

"I bet it will look amazing," Seungyoon said.

 

"It will," Mino said. Seungyoon catches his eyes looking at him through the mirror and Mino feels another grip in his heart.

 

"We can go there as soon as it blooms, and you can take pics with your new camera. Alright?" Hyunjun said, with the most affectionate way. Seungyoon hums and Mino can hear the smile in his voice.

 

Another suffocating grip is holding Mino's heart.

 

: :

 

"And over there is the bathroom. Don't worry, it has warm water too. And that's all I guess?" Mino said, concluding the house tour.

 

"Alright," Hyunjun nodded while looking over the house.

 

"Would you like my number? You can ask me anything if something comes up, or if you guys ever need help "

 

Seungyoon smiles at the vase of baby's breath on the cupboard.

 

"Oh yeah, we should. Seungyoon, do you bring your phone? I left mine upstairs," Hyunjun said. Seungyoon turns his head and pulls his phone from his pocket.

 

"And your number is?" Seungyoon asked. Mino mentions his number one by one, repeating it once more so Seungyoon won't get it wrong.

 

"Song Mino, right?" Seungyoon asked.

 

"Yeah. Song Mino."

 

"Alright," Seungyoon smiles "thanks for everything, Mino. According to your grandma, we're the same age so I can talk to you comfortably right?"

 

"Oh really? Well then please do," Mino said, smiling without he planned to.

 

Seungyoon keeps his gaze at Mino, and also his smile.

 

"Seungyoon, take some rest. I'll make dinner. Would you like to join for dinner?" Hyunjun asked Mino.

 

"Oh no, thanks. I'll go home, grandma needs my help for dinner too so," Mino said.

 

"Ah, I see, alright then. Thank you so much "

 

: :

 

Mino can't continue his drawing. Nor can he sleep or watch TV. He eats with grandma but his head is somewhere else he doesn't understand. It's between the lake house and the sunflower field.

 

: :

 

Seungyoon looks at his fingers above Hyunjun's chest. He inhales the foreign smell of wood that builds the house and the clean breeze of the night. This place is foreign and Seungyoon usually hates new places but he doesn't this time. Hyunjun's hand is atop Seungyoon's arm, keeping him close. It's almost too heavy.

 

Hyunjun plants a soft kiss on his forehead and Seungyoon closes his eyes at the tender touch. Seungyoon kept his eyes closed when Hyunjun's lips travel down to his cheeks, his nose, then his lips. His kiss goes intense almost immediately and Seungyoon opens his eyes with a speeding heart. He flattens his palm on Hyunjun's chest, a gesture asking him to stop. Seungyoon whispers a weak sorry and Hyunjun just smiles.

 

It's alright, he said.

 

When Hyunjun falls asleep Seungyoon moves away from his hold and faces the wall.

 

: :

 

Seungyoon walks down the stairs when he heard the bell ring on his door to find Mino with a basket full of cookies on his hand.

 

"What a nice surprise," Seungyoon said.

 

"Typical grandmothers. Always gotta make sure the kids are overflowed with food." Mino shrugs.

 

"Please come in, I just made coffee," Seungyoon said.

 

"Nah, I should go back straight away. this is too early and you're supposed to be on holiday, not accepting guests," Mino said.

 

"Oh come on there is no way I'll let you go back home without a visit after bringing me all this goodness. I insist," Seungyoon said, opening the door wide.

 

Mino doesn't have much choice so he came in for a coffee and small talks that ended up in waves of laughter and an actual good time.

 

"Well I kinda guessed your profession when I see your guitar the other day," Mino said.

 

"A cafe singer is nothing to be proud of from a classical guitar major, honestly. But I'll just have to deal with it. I've always known I gotta start from way down anyway. Besides the cafe is my parent's, if things go bad I'll just inherit it or something."

 

Mino laughs.

 

"So Hyunjun is your.." Mino asked halfway, letting the question hang in the air.

 

"Boyfriend," Seungyoon said.

 

Mino hums. That stings a bit.

 

"Since college?"

 

"Yeah. Dated at our second year but he's actually a childhood friend slash senior. A year older." Seungyoon said, smiling at his cup of coffee.

 

"That's a pretty long time. Must be nice to date someone you know in and out." Mino said, sipping his coffee. Seungyoon stays quiet at the statement.

 

"Wouldn't say I know him that well," Seungyoon said.

 

"Sorry?" Mino asked, unsure if he heard it right.

 

Seungyoon looks at him and smiles.

 

"We'll never know if we truly understand someone, don't you think? What if everything we think we know is just a layer they made up to cover up what's inside? There is no limit to human's mind." Seungyoon said.

 

Mino stares at him for a few beats, and just before he opens his mouth to say what's on his mind, footsteps are going down the stairs. Mino keeps his eyes on Seungyoon, who immediately looks out at the stairs.

 

"Hey," Hyunjun's voice fills the room. Seungyoon smiles at him.

 

His footsteps approach Mino from behind him and a hand meets his left shoulder soon after.

 

"Hey, Mino. To what do we owe this visit?" Hyunjun said.

 

"Grandma bakes us some cookies. Here, have some," Seungyoon said, beating Mino into it.

 

Hyunjun walks towards Seungyoon, taking one of the cookies and took a bite with his hand on Seungyoon's shoulder as it belongs there. Mino looks away from his hands.

 

"Please tell her our thanks, these are so good," Hyunjun said with wide eyes, still munching the cookie.

 

"Sure thing," Mino said.

 

: :

 

Mino came back home and throw his body back to his bed. He draws sunflowers on his notebook

 

: :

 

Seungyoon came to the house later in the afternoon, bringing a chicken soup with him. It smells heavenly.

 

"Aigoo, did you make this yourself?" Grandma asked.

 

"I did, though I'm not sure how it will taste. I'm still learning to cook," he said shyly.

 

Grandma took a spoon of the broth and hums happily.

 

" This is so good, Seungyoon-ah.. you might as well cook better than one of my daughter in law," she said. Mino laughs.

 

"Grandma, don't talk about auntie Yejin that way," Mino complains jokingly, walking towards her to get a taste too.

 

"Don't worry, I love her anyway.. she's a good wife to my son," grandma said with a laugh, feeding Mino with a spoon of the broth. Mino's eyes widen.

 

"Whoa this really does tastes better than aunt Yejin's cooking though," Mino said, earning a laugh from grandma and Seungyoon who was trying hard not to join the family gossip.

 

"Grandma, do you happen to know any musical instrument shop around here?" Seungyoon asked.

 

"Musical instruments?" Grandma ponders, turning her head to Mino.

 

"There is, it's in town though. You need a car to go there," Mino said.

 

"Ah, I see.." Seungyoon said, looking regretful.

 

"Do you need something, Seungyoonie?" Grandma asked.

 

"Yes, I broke my guitar string.. and silly me forgot to bring the spares so," Seungyoon shrugs.

 

"Well, Mino can bring you there, right son?" Grandma said.

 

: :

 

"Sorry you gotta follow me around like this," Seungyoon said with a chuckle.

 

"It's fine, got nothing to do anyway. Almost finished all of my game stock in this holiday." Mino said.

 

"And how long are you planning to stay?" Seungyoon asks as he fiddles between the guitar strings cases.

 

"Until.." Mino ponders "I decided I want to deal with the world and everything in it."

 

Seungyoon smiles.

 

"Don't you think that might take a long time?" Seungyoon asked.

 

"It will. Definitely. But I know I'll be ready in a while."

 

"How do you know?"

 

Mino looks at Seungyoon, a pack of string already in his hand.

 

"Because life always catches up with me, no matter where I go. I think I'm ready because I managed to acknowledge that instead of thinking I have all the time in the world." Mino said.

 

"True," Seungyoon sighs.

 

"Life never lets you rest, does it."

 

Mino keeps his gaze on Seungyoon and the way he looks down at the strings on his hold.

 

: :

 

"Where is Hyunjun by the way?" Mino asked on their way back.

 

"Working. He's a photographer. He said he'll do some editing today."

 

"I thought you guys are on holiday," Mino said, chuckling.

 

"Yeah, that's what I thought too," Seungyoon said with a sigh. "But that's alright, he should do what he wants."

 

"What about what you want, though?"

 

: :

 

"I thought I've made it clear that I won't accept this delay for my schedule!" Hyunjun talked to the phone, his voice buttered with anger. Seungyoon doesn't feel like eating anymore.

 

"No, no! You and your secretary is the one who should be listening to me!" He snapped.

 

Seungyoon throws the rest of his pasta and walks upstairs to the bathroom. He engulfs his body with warm water in the bathtub. He closes his eyes, trying to mute out Hyunjun's raised tone downstairs. Seungyoon dips his head in the water and counts how many seconds he can spend without breathing.

 

 

'what about what you want?'

 

 

: :

 

"I'm so sorry, I really don't know how to do this kind of things.. Please let me pay for this," Seungyoon said apologetically.

 

"That's alright, it's an old thing anyway." Mino said with a chuckle "what were you doing anyway?"

 

"I was boiling water to make porridge, then I realized I put in too much water. So I carry the pan to the sink, trying to throw the excess water. It was heavier than I expected and I ended up hitting the tap, broke it, and have water bursts across the kitchen. And that's when you picked up my distressed call." Seungyoon said in embarrassment.

 

Mino laughs.

 

"And Hyunjun is where?" Mino asked.

 

"Out to get some beer," Seungyoon said.

 

"Ah.. Why not join him and get dinner outside instead?" Mino asked.

 

Seungyoon took a second too long to answer.

 

"I don't really drink these days," he said with a chuckle. Mino hums and continues fixing the water pipe and the tap.

 

: :

 

Hyunjun came back drunk and smelling like cigarettes. Seungyoon guides him to the bathroom and opens his shirt, telling him to take a bath before he touches the bed. Hyunjun snakes a hand around Seungyoon's waist and pulls him close suddenly. He rains kisses on his neck and Seungyoon can feel the shiver down his spine.

 

"Hyun, stop," Seungyoon whispers.

 

Maybe he didn't hear it. Or maybe he did. Hyunjun slips a cold palm inside Seungyoon's clothes, making him jump.

 

"No, I don't want to," Seungyoon struggles. Hyunjun tightens his hold on Seungyoon's waist and an alarm ring on his head almost immediately.

 

"Hyun, no!" Seungyoon yells.

 

Hyunjun looked like someone poured a cold water to his face and his grip relaxes.

 

"Baby.. baby I'm sorry," he whispers, raising his palm to cup Seungyoon's almost pale face.

 

"I'm so sorry, you alright?" He asked.

 

Seungyoon nods.

 

"Go take a bath," Seungyoon said.

 

"Hey," Hyunjun calls.

 

"I'm really sorry," he whispers, with the gaze Seungyoon can never reject.

 

"It's alright," Seungyoon said with a smile.

 

: :

 

Seungyoon wakes up to a warm cup of tea and a soft kiss on his lips.

 

"I love you," Hyunjun whispers.

 

 

 

Seungyoon leans closer to his face and kisses him. Why is everything so cold.

 

 

: :

 

Seungyoon went to a hill he saw from his balcony, leaving Hyunjun and his work. He brings with him his guitar, a backpack filled with snacks, drinks, and a notebook. On his way, he passes by a pack of kids running with a rod with a circle at its end and a bottle of pink liquid. One of the kids put the rod in and made bubbles as they run, laughing cheerfully. Seungyoon smiles at the sight.

 

"Seungyoon," a familiar voice calls.

 

Seungyoon turns his head to find Mino.

 

: :

 

"You made those for them? What a nice neighborhood oppa," Seungyoon said as they walk together, the kids ahead of them. His chuckle always made Mino feel a hitch in his chest.

 

"That's what unemployed art graduate do in holidays, you see," Mino adds.

 

Seungyoon laughs.

 

"So where were you going?" Mino asked.

 

"Anywhere near the hill," Seungyoon shrugs.

 

"Wanted to find a quiet place for music?" Mino asked, peeking at his guitar.

 

"Exactly," Seungyoon said.

 

"So an isolated house near a lake not quiet enough?" Mino jokes.

 

"It's perfect, honestly. If only someone is not burning his head with work." Seungyoon sighs.

 

Mino just hums. Mino doesn't like how things are going for Seungyoon. He's not relaxed at all in a place he visited for 'holiday'. But Mino thinks he should stop thinking about a man in a relationship and how he spends his time.

 

They reach a certain part of the hill with an open grassy space and many trees around it,  a spot the kids loves to spend playing and Mino spend drawing.

 

"What do you usually draw?" Seungyoon asked as he strums his guitar, the kids playing and around laughing around them.

 

"Anything that catches my eyes really," Mino said. Seungyoon hums.

 

"You mind?" Seungyoon asked, gesturing at his guitar.

 

"Of course not," Mino said with a smile "why would I mind a free and live Spotify?"

 

Seungyoon laughs and starts playing a tune. Mino tried to find the thing that catches his eyes today, but his mind scatters to pieces when Seungyoon starts to sing. Mino looks at him almost instinctively.

 

 

So pretty.

 

 

Mino opens his drawing book and starts to move the tip of his pencil.

 

: :

 

Mino offers a piece of paper to Seungyoon in the middle of their walk home, folded in the center.

 

"I should've asked for your permission but you looked so focused with your guitar so," Mino said, scratching his neck.

 

Seungyoon took the paper in confusion.

 

"Open it after I leave please, I'm not ready to see your disappointment at my degree. Anyway, see ya! Let's hang out again sometime," Mino said as he walks away, almost sprinting. Seungyoon opens the piece of paper to find a drawing of him, playing guitar under a tree with the happiest smile. Seungyoon looks so happy it's almost funny to him.

 

: :

 

"Why are you out for so long?" Hyunjun asked, frustration clear in his voice.

 

"I was out at the hill, with Mino and some kids from around here," Seungyoon answered, putting down his guitar case with Mino's drawing in it.

 

"Mino?" Hyunjun asked, disagreement in his feature.

 

"Yeah I passed by him on my way," Seungyoon said, heartbeat rising.

 

Hyunjun rubs in his forehead and sigh.

 

"Seungyoon, I'm not sure how to feel about you hanging around with some guy while I'm at home worried about you and all these work that doesn't seem to end,"

 

Seungyoon gulps.

 

"Sorry.. I.. I just wanted to get some fresh air, and I thought you needed space for your work as you always do so," Seungyoon said with a weak voice.

 

Hyunjun runs a hand past his hair then walks towards Seungyoon.

 

Seungyoon flinches.

 

Hyunjun touches his cheek in the most gentle way, smiling sadly.

 

"You must've felt so locked away here, don't you? I'm sorry, I really can't leave my work and I've been horrible to be around," he said. Seungyoon doesn't know how to respond.

 

"Let's go out tomorrow. Visit the city, eat something nice. Alright? Let's have fun." Hyunjun said.

 

Seungyoon just nods and let his body gets hugged. Seungyoon feels smaller and smaller.

 

"I won't break my promise, Seungyoon."

 

: :

 

Mino was ready to sleep when his phone dings with a message notification.

 

'thank you for the drawing, It's so good. Art major indeed.'

 

Mino smiles

 

: :

 

It was a nice day, Seungyoon thought. Hyun smiles all day, as sweet as he could be. The small town near the village has the best foods and the environment. Seungyoon asked if they can buy a matching bracelet, just because. Seungyoon didn't think of Mino at all nor how his drawing made him feel.

 

But Hyunjun was being so pushy later that night and Seungyoon feels suffocated all over again. He pushes Hyunjun in a harsh manner and it hurts something inside the man.

 

"I don't get you," he scoffs.

 

"What do you want from me? You said we'll be alright, that you're over with what happened. But you're not talking to me, you act weird, and you won't even let me touch you!" Hyunjun said, tone getting harsher by every word.

 

"I told you I need time," Seungyoon said.

 

"Well, how long do you need Kang Seungyoon??" He suddenly yells, causing Seungyoon to flinch and took a step back.

 

"You don't know how that stare of yours pains me every single time," Hyunjun said, walking closer to Seungyoon. Seungyoon's hand is trembling.

 

"You look at me like I'm a fucking monster," he muttered.

 

"Hyun, calm down," Seungyoon begs "please, slow down.."

 

"Why? Am I scaring you?" He said.

 

"Hyun, please," Seungyoon said. A tear slips past his eyelid, falling to his cheek. The sight of his tear and labored breath cause Hyunjun to halt in his spot.

 

"Don't," Seungyoon whimpers.

 

The light in his eyes came back and he reverts to his face this morning. It made Seungyoon feel nauseous.

 

"Seungyoon.. shit, I'm sorry I.." Hyunjun tried to approach Seungyoon but he flinches at his first step.

 

"Baby, I'm sorry. I won't do anything, alright? I'm just.. so stressed with work. I'm so sorry. Please take a rest, okay? I'll get the warm water ready for a bath.. just.." he walks closer, very slowly.

 

"Let me look at you, please?" He says. Seungyoon stays on his spot, as Hyunjun reaches for his arm, caressing it gently. He smiles when Seungyoon gazes back at him. Hyunjun plants a kiss on his forehead and whispers I love you.

 

 

 

Seungyoon dips his head underwater but this time it was to scream.

 

: :

 

Seungyoon wakes up with horrible nausea and he vomits right after he tried to leave his bed. The stinging bile that runs up his throat spreads on the floor, the mere sight and smell causing him to feel even more nauseous. He realizes Hyunjun is nowhere on their bedroom and Seungyoon tried to call out for him but he can't. Seungyoon rises from the bed slowly and another vomiting ensues. His heart races.

 

'this is weird.. something is wrong..'

 

"Hyun? Hyun??" Seungyoon pushes himself to call out for him.

 

But no answer came and Seungyoon starts to tremble. He took his phone on the nightstand and tried to dial him as Seungyoon walks away from the mess he made. Hyunjun didn't answer.

 

His heart races. He needs a doctor, right now.

 

The only person around he knows comes to mind and he presses the dial button.

 

: :

 

 

"It's okay, the doctor is not far away. Calm down, alright? Breathe," Mino said while he's the one who probably needs more calm.

 

 

Seungyoon closes his eyes as the bumpy road made his sickness worsen.

 

 

Mino never thought he'll be this worried over a man he met merely a few days ago.

 

 

: :

 

 

"I don't see any urgent problem, Seungyoon-ssi. I highly doubt another case can happen in such a short time after your last checkup. And hearing your story, this might be caused by high-stress level and traumatic experience. I understand your worries but your doctor has stated that you are clean, so I hope you can take better rests from now on. Cautious behavior is good, but don't let it haunt you. I think a checkup after your holiday won't do any harm."

 

: :

 

 

"It doesn't matter what time it is, whatever small reason it may be," Mino said on their way back past the same bumpy road.

 

"Call me if you need anything. Really anything."

 

 

Mino, in a sense, is a stranger to Seungyoon. But it has been a while he can hear those words being said to him and to truly feel like there is a safety net under his walking string.

 

: :

 

 

Hyunjun is sitting on the porch of the front door, phone in his hand and cigarette between his lips. Seungyoon is trembling. Mino peeks at him and feels the worst feeling on his chest.

 

"Seungyoon, is everything alright?"

 

Hyunjun raises on his legs and walks towards the car. Seungyoon opens the door and walks out with trembling hands.

 

"Seungyoon, wait," Mino calls but it's like Seungyoon's mind is somewhere else.

 

Hyunjun walked to the car but he wasn't coming for Seungyoon's side. He was coming for Mino.

 

"Get the fuck out of that car," he muttered. Seungyoon stopped on his tracks and turn his body immediately.

 

"Hyun, no, I called him he didn't—"

 

"I said get the fuck out," He said. Mino is not having any of this shit, after having to see Seungyoon struggling to even walk. Mino walks out with no hesitance and looked at the man in the eye.

 

"What's the problem, hyung?"

 

"Step away from my boyfriend, punk."

 

Mino scoffs.

 

"Right, cause you definitely took good care of him did you? I mean, you must have had a good reason, leaving when he's sick like that."

 

A fist took Mino's shirt and pulled him up.

 

"Hyun, don't do it! Please, you promised me!" Seungyoon begs, holding his arm.

 

"Don't act smart with me. Who the fuck are you huh? Stay being the fucking steward you are, kid. You think you're so great managing to have small talks with him? You think you're getting him away from me? You?"

 

"Dude, with your shit attitude, anything I do right now is above great for Seungyoon."

 

And that's when the punch hit his face.

 

 

: :

 

 

 

"Who dares to do that? I will report them to the village head!" Grandma said, her anger rising.

 

"Grandma, don't. It's fine, I'll take care of this.."

 

"Mino, just tell me who!"

 

 

: :

 

 

Seungyoon sat on the dining table hands folded on the table, eyes down. Hyunjun is leaning on the kitchen counter, eyes digging a hole on Seungyoon, making every second feels long and painful.

 

He chuckles at some point.

 

"Wow, Kang Seungyoon you're messing with me," Hyunjun said.

 

"Where were you?" Seungyoon asked.

 

"Why?" Hyunjun asked back, no trace of laugh left on his face.

 

"You were drinking again. You told me you're trying to stop. You said you're keeping it to a minimum. You said you're doing it for me—"

 

"Exactly," Hyunjun cuts him off "I'm doing that for you. You want to know what else I did for you? I fought my parents for you. I left my home to be with you. I stayed by your side when you were so sick you barely look alive,"

 

"Hyun," Seungyoon whispers in disbelief.

 

"I planned a whole month of holiday in the middle of my godawful busy work, for YOU!" Hyun screamed, breaking Seungyoon to pieces.

 

"Hyun how can you say that to my face," Seungyoon said, close to tears and breaking down.

 

"Because you won't talk to me!! Why can't you see that not everything is about you, Kang Seungyoon? You're not the only person falling to the pits of hell in this world, but you don't care! You don't care about me, or what I need!!"

 

"I do!" Seungyoon yelled, rising from his seat as tears already stain his cheeks. Hyunjun halts, staring blankly at him before laughing like something is truly funny to his ears.

 

"You do? Really?" Hyunjun said, walking towards Seungyoon with an aura that made Seungyoon wants to run. Hyunjun is turning back to who he was before...

 

"Then strip," Hyunjun said. Seungyoon froze.

 

"If you really think of me, then let me fuck you like we used to do instead of pushing me away like you're disgusted by my skin." Hyunjun dares him. Seungyoon felt so degraded he wants to puke. He can't even utter a word at his statement, Seungyoon only managed to shake his head.

 

Hyunjun scoffs.

 

Suddenly his hands were on Seungyoon's zipper, tugging on it forcefully. Seungyoon feels like he's naked even with clothes fully attached. Seungyoon screams and pushes him away with all the force his body can manage, causing Hyunjun to actually stagger and fall back. Seungyoon was left trembling, falling to his knees and sobbing on the kitchen floor. And Hyunjun left.

 

 

: :

 

 

Mino knocks on the lake house's door later that night, worried out of his mind. But no answer came and he just doesn't feel like going home is the right decision. So he sat on the porch, leaning on the door. Mino sighs.

 

"Are you okay? If yes... Send me a text or something." Mino said to himself.

 

: :

 

Seungyoon leans on the front door, a blanket rolled around his body. His eyes red and puffy and his throat burns. Mino is outside, leaning on the same door. And Seungyoon wonders if the warmth he feels from the door is just his imagination or real.

 

: :

 

Seungyoon opens the door suddenly, making Mino fall backward and probably caused him a small heart attack. Mino gets up immediately, not sure whether he should be shocked because the sun is up or that Seungyoon finally opens the door.

 

"What are you doing?" Seungyoon asked coldly.

 

Mino fixes his clothes and looks at him with raised eyebrows.

 

"What I'm doing? Well checking on you of course, why would I check on that asshole."

Seungyoon sighs.

"That asshole is my boyfriend."

 

"Exactly, how weird is that right?"

 

"Don't joke with me."

 

"I'm not. Come on, what are you doing Kang Seungyoon? This is ridiculous, what are you doing with him?"

 

"You don't know him!" Seungyoon suddenly yelled.

 

"Well, neither do you, alright? So shut up and let me the fuck in, I slept on your porch, the least you could do is let me in and let me make a goddamn coffee."

 

 

: :

 

 

Seungyoon stays on his bed after letting Mino inside his house. Mino realized the asshole is not home and frankly, he'd rather he leave forever. Mino might sound demanding for a ‘stranger' but that happens when you see a person acting like a damn criminal and have no hesitation to hit someone. Mino cooked some simple food and walked up to Seungyoon's bedroom door.

 

 

"Sorry if you think I breached a line when I barely know you. But it doesn't take a genius to recognize a toxic relationship and I'm just trying to help you."

 

Why?

 

"I don't even know why I'm doing this so don't ask. There is some food downstairs so come down and eat it. I'll leave now. And like I said,"

 

Seungyoon opens his eyes.

 

"You can call me anytime for anything."

 

 

: :

 

 

 

Hyunjun didn't come back that night. Or the night after. And the next. Mino comes over everyday, either to cook or bringing something grandma made. Seungyoon doesn't understand him but he doesn't want him to stop either.

 

: :

 

 

Grandma came and Seungyoon suddenly breaks down at the sight of her and a basket of cookies on her hand. She hugs him close and rubs his back softly. Mino stays outside, sitting on the porch with a drawing book on his hand. The stroke of his pencil gets rough everytime Seungyoon sobs.

 

 

: :

 

 

It was a tumor on his stomach. Seungyoon found out about it during his second year of college. His family was not doing so well of, with business in a brink of bankruptcy. Seungyoon doesn't have the heart to tell, so he tried to find money and support on his own. Hyunjun was there at all times, giving Seungyoon every help he can give even when his parents dispute them and their relationship. Hyunjun eventually cuts them out of his life, putting Seungyoon on a pedestal he never asked for.

 

 

"You're the only one I have left," he whispered one night. And Seungyoon felt like he has all his life written in a book already. The perfect book.

 

 

Tumor is a battle against the disease and yourself yet Seungyoon won, after many breakdowns and sharp edges. Seungyoon feels indebted to Hyunjun, that much is true. But he also shares a trust bigger than any other towards Hyunjun. He loved the man, he really did.

 

Ever since he graduated and entered the working world, Hyunjun had to go through some stressful episodes. Seungyoon stayed by his side as much as he could, exactly the way Hyunjun did to him. Seungyoon thought there would be no mistake Hyunjun can ever make that might make Seungyoon hate him.

 

Hyunjun got drinking problems. He's got the worst attitude when he's drunk. Seungyoon can take swear words, he can take stubborn antics. But then Hyunjun gets violent.

 

He hits Seungyoon after some point. Slapped him, punched his jaw. Seungyoon got to the point seeing Hyunjun scares him. Hyunjun always wakes up the morning after feeling sorry and begging Seungyoon for forgiveness. It made him believe his drunk behavior is something out of his control.

 

And Seungyoon, being the stupid person he is, thought he can change him.

 

He doesn't know yet that a promise of changing for someone else is the biggest bullshit of life.

 

Hyunjun came home drunk and horny one night and Seungyoon never really knew how strong and uncontrollable he was until then. Hyunjun grips him so hard by his waist, slapping his face when he said stop and almost chokes him when he cried. Seungyoon slept on the corner of his room that night, naked and bleeding, unable to walk to leave the very place that still gives him nightmares to this day.

 

Hyunjun wakes up in the morning with a confused face, crying his eyes out and didn't even have the guts to touch Seungyoon.

 

 

They talked it out and by some crazy logic Seungyoon forgives him, agreeing to keep their relationship and spend a holiday to ‘calm their heads'. Seungyoon never had the bravery and honesty to accept that he can't look at Hyunjun without feeling bothered anymore. The love is over. But Seungyoon is still head over heels towards their happy past, unwilling to accept that the chapter ended and this new shattered rotten chapter is the only thing left.

 

: :

 

By the time grandma left Seunyoon, Mino finished drawing a figure of a person being cut into pieces, flower blooming on his head and the root escaping the body from the cut-up parts. Mino closes his book and realizes Seungyoon avoiding his eyes that day.

 

 

: :

 

 

Mino came back the next morning like he usually does, cooking something on the kitchen for Seungyoon. The difference is now Seungyoon sits on the table, watching him cook. Mino casually puts a sunny side egg and toast on the table in front of Seungyoon and his own. Seungyoon watches him with tired eyes deprived of much-needed sleep.

 

"I don't understand you," Seungyoon said.

 

"Hell, same here." Mino said while munching his toast "But I might've I gotten an idea, you know."

 

Seungyoon waits for him to finish and swallow the food on his mouth, only to get a shrug.

 

"I probably like you or something," Mino said.

 

 

: :

 

 

Seungyoon is lonely. He's a healthy man with needs and it's just fair to be attracted to the guy that came every single day and cooked him food and doesn't give a fuck about his messy life. Right?

 

So Seungyoon justifies the way he asked Mino out for some drink. Because who else is around? He justifies the way he sits closer than he usually would, talks closer than he usually would. Seungyoon can't even remember but he probably rambled about Hyunjun that night.

 

: :

 

 

Seungyoon talks about the many things Hyunjun did that he loves, the things that's mattered. But then he also talked about the way he doesn't want him to come back. He also said to Mino, that perhaps they should've met sooner. Mino feels hurt at first, then glittered with hope soon after, and was burned with fire in the end.

 

 

: :

 

 

Seungyoon asked for it. Clear and blatant. He remembered Mino hesitating, didn't want to make Seungyoon regret anything. But Seungyoon was pretty sure he'll go crazy if Mino let him go home untouched tonight. So he touched Mino first, on his knees then up. Then up. And up.

 

Hyunjun is not here, he told himself.

 

Until Mino had to stop driving and park the car in an empty lot of a closed up restaurant. It was late; nobody would be around; was what their crazy minds said.

 

 

Mino was burning alive but not in any way he was forceful. He touched Seungyoon bit by bit, ready to stop at any given discomfort. But Seungyoon moans at the slightest touch of Mino's fingers on his cock, whimpering shamelessly at a lost of contact. Seungyoon told himself he should warn Mino to be gentle but realized he didn't need to. Mino moves like falling feathers. Seungyoon is already a mess when his pants are shoved open. He wants to unbuckle Mino's belt but he was too busy feeling Mino's warm tongue exploring his mouth, and suddenly Mino's bare cock was already free, touching his sensitive one slightly. Seungyoon sighs at the mere contact.

 

Mino had to back away to get condoms and lube and Seungyoon feels exposed even in the small space of a car backseat. He grips on Mino's shirt, making sure he won't leave too far. Seungyoon was already loosening himself when Mino finished wearing the condom and slicking his hard-on with lube. Seungyoon curled his finger on his prostate and whimpers, another way of begging Mino to be quick.

 

Mino didn't get right into it and prepares Seungyoon furthermore, earning himself a restless and moaning mess Seungyoon. Mino's fingers are longer and thicker, Seungyoon wonder if he'll break if Mino enters him. It's been too long.

 

"You okay?" Mino asked. Seungyoon is in the brink of losing his mind but he's sure Mino knew that. So Seungyoon opens his legs wider instead.

 

"Won't be if you don't hurry up," Seungyoon whispers.

 

 

Seungyoon feels so full it's crazy. He almost came the moment Mino slides all of him inside of Seungyoon in a maddeningly slow pace. Seungyoon feels opened and filled up like he never did. Nothing, even in his own solo sex Seungyoon feel this stretched inside. Seungyoon had to grip on the base of his cock to keep himself from embarrassment and the quickest come in his whole life. Mino stops as soon as he's fully inside, brows furrowing in concentration. Seungyoon is glad he's not the only one having a hard time staying sane.

 

When Mino moves at his command, Seungyoon sobs. Mino almost stops if not for Seungyoon's praise on how good it felt. Mino moves maddeningly slow but Seungyoon wouldn't want it any other way. Seungyoon's eyes go out of focus every time he pushes back in so deep, grazing his prostate just enough to make Seungyoon whimpers and toes curl. It's so much but not enough.

 

The radio is on because they let it be. A song played but none of them probably realized.

 

 

_And I feel life for the very first time_

_Love in my arms and the sun in my eyes_

_I feel safe in the 5am light_

_You carry my fears as the heavens set fire_

 

 

Seungyoon came with a strangled moan and a strong grip on Mino's arms. Seungyoon was breathing heavily, looking at the car's ceiling as Mino is still thrusting into him, fast and short and so so hot. If Mino can keep it up for another 20 or so minutes, Seungyoon will probably come again. But Seungyoon won't let him so he clenches on Mino, fighting his own sensitivity and earned a frustrated grunt from Mino. Seungyoon pulls his face and kisses him hungrily. Mino is so close he can feel it. Seungyoon moves his hips again to meet his thrust, all the while sucking on Mino's lower lip.

 

"Faster," Seungyoon whispers.

 

Mino falls so hard he thought he was drowning.

 

 

 

: :

 

 

 

"Mino, me and Hyunjun are still dating," Seungyoon said while Mino is busy cutting vegetables on the kitchen counter like he always does, every morning.

 

 

Mino thought if a thunder strikes him straight to his head, it probably feels like this.

 

 

"I mean, we haven't talked this out and none of us rings the break-up bell yet. I don't want you to think we're somewhere far when we're not. Last night was amazing and I regret none of it but that's it, alright? It didn't make any point about us. I mean you're not even sure about your feelings to me—"

 

"I am sure. I like you." Mino said. Seungyoon stayed silent for a few seconds and Mino doesn't even want to see his face that time.

 

"Mino, you can't say you like someone based on a single good fuck, you think that's all a relationship is about? For god's sake," Seungyoon said, raising his voice suddenly.

 

"Why the fuck are you angry about this? No—Who are you actually angry at now? Yourself?" Mino asked, finally turning his head to see him.

 

"I don't understand what the hell you're talking about—"

 

"You don't love him anymore! You think I can't see that? So what is all this pretending for?? What are you trying so hard to keep from your shit relationship? Nothing is left—Fuck he's not even here anymore!!" Mino yells.

 

"You don't know me, Song Mino!"

 

"Then don't think you fucking know me either!"

 

 

: :

 

 

 

Seungyoon was sitting on the couch, knees pressed close to his chest and a cup of tea on his hand. Mino left this morning, angry and frustrated. Seungyoon made a damage and he feels awful about it. But Seungyoon also feels disgusted at himself, aware that he let his heart speeds up for a man he barely knows while the man he's been dating for years stays missing. Seungyoon should be looking for him right now. Seungyoon should be worried. And he hates for feeling none of those. Where is the worry that always haunts him everytime he came home late? The relentless calls when he looks slightly sick before leaving for work? Where is the love he thought he'll feel for a lifetime and perhaps more?

 

 

Why does the time he spent with Mino feel so much easier to live on than a sight of Hyunjun? Seungyoon doesn't know if Mino and whatever he's feeling right now is allowed. What if the uncomfortable feeling everytime Hyunjun is near was temporary and Mino is merely a test life gave him?

 

Seungyoon made up so many questions in his head, too many considerations. Seungyoon sighs, peeking at the balcony facing the lake and wonder how cold it is tonight. It reflects the dark sky and its bright stars, the full moon in the center.

 

 

He was staring at the surface of the lake when there was a knock on his door. Seungyoon sighs. It's probably Mino, ready for another set of a fight. Seungyoon rises from his warm couch and puts down his cup of tea, heading to the front door with a tired sigh. He opens the door without checking from the peeping glass first.

 

His first mistake of the night.

 

Seungyoon opens the door to find Hyunjun looking at him with dark eyes.

 

 

: :

 

 

Mino was washing the dishes then grandma approaches him and leans on the kitchen counter beside him. She makes the vibe like when she's about to have a talk with Mino and Mino is not in the mood to have any of it.

 

"Not today, grandma."

 

She chuckles.

 

"Then when? After Seungyoon leaves?"

 

"Might as well," Mino said.

 

Grandma sighs.

 

"Mino you're not in the age to waste time."

 

"He's the one who doesn't understand that."

 

"You are both different people, of course you'll think differently! Boy, did I raise you with fairy tales? Things are not that easy!"

 

"Grandma, he's still burning his oils for that guy. Why should I spend my time for someone who can't see the very hell he's living in?" Mino said, scoffing as if he didn't really care.

 

"Mino-ya," Grandma called, voice suddenly warm yet sad "You can't ask him to see after someone blinded him."

 

 

: :

 

 

Mino lays in bed, his drawing book abandoned at his side with no new drawing present.

 

His phone rings and it causes a hitch in his heart when Seungyoon's name is up there.

 

It took a minute and Mino is already running towards his car, hearts beating out his chest for all the wrong reasons.

 

 

: :

 

 

He was like an animal. He doesn't talk. He only moves. His fist, his legs. It meets Seungyoon's body on places it hurts the most. Seungyoon loses the ability to scream when he kicks right on his stomach.

 

 

Seungyoon hit his back on the staircases and he almost blacks out. Hyunjun was spewing some harsh words, he talked about seeing Seungyoon and Mino the other night and Seungyoon almost feels the guilt washes through. But then he called Seungyoon some cheap whore that would sleep with anyone when Hyunjun leaves, and Mino's grandma's words from the other day run through his mind almost immediately.

 

 

‘Seungyoon-ah... No amount of love in this world is more important than the love you have for yourself.'

 

 

 

Seungyoon wants to cry and scream, but he conserves his voice for something else. Hyunjun was coming at him with the vase filled with baby's breath flower Seungyoon loved so much.

 

 

'Don't cling your lifeline to Hyunjun. Nor anybody else. you will hold that line yourself.'

 

 

"Hyun," He almost chokes. Something is salty in his mouth. Probably blood.

 

 

 

 

"Let's break up."

 

 

 

Hyunjun stops right in front of Seungyoon, the vase is strongly gripped on his hand.

 

 

 

 

"And leave me the fuck alone, you sick asshole," Seungyoon muttered, looking at Hyunjun straight in the eye.

 

 

 

Hyunjun was fuming and he raises the vase. When it hits Seungyoon, he finally blacks out.

 

 

 

 

: :

 

 

 

 

Mino finds him on the floor, leaning to the staircase handle with blood on his lips and some smears of it on his shirt. Mino was trembling, trying to lift him and carry him to the car and drive him to a nearby hospital. All that with teary eyes and incoherent words spilling from his head. Seungyoon holds on his arms and as soon Mino's eyes focused on him, Seungyoon smiles.

 

It must have looked so sad because Mino breaks down into a sobbing mess right after, leaving Seungyoon's gaze. Seungyoon cries too and he pulled on Mino's shirt, whispering a beg for an embrace. Mino holds him with all the gentle touch in the world, worried if he can further the damage. Seungyoon eases into his warmth, sobbing uncontrollably. They stayed for what feels like hours, painfully beautiful hours.

 

 

"Can we swim at the lake?" Seungyoon whispers.

 

 

"What? Seungyoon, don't... We need to go to the hospital," Mino said.

 

"Please... it will help me. Can you just carry me there?"

 

 

: :

 

 

Seungyoon opens his shirt with much difficulty. Mino helps him after thousands of reasoning in his head, still unsure why he carried an injured man to a lake late in the night.

 

 

The shirt reveals bruises, fresh and painful. Mino wants to close his eyes but he won't.

 

Seungyoon turns his head and smiles.

 

 

 

: :

 

 

 

They're standing together, chest flushed against each other inside the cold water embrace. Seungyoon rests both of his hands on Mino's shoulders, the man holding him close by the waist.

 

 

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

 

 

"Yes," Seungyoon answers "But I'll be alright."

 

 

Mino doubts him, and Seungyoon can feel it. So he opens his eyes and points it straight to Mino's searching orbs.

 

"How is it... That your touch feels so much familiar on my skin... Yet we have only met?" Seungyoon asked.

 

 

 

"How is it you made me want time to stop... while I've always wished time run faster, pushing me to the end?" Seungyoon said. Mino leans closer and kissed him softly.

 

"Do you like me?" Seungyoon whispers after Mino's lips ghosts away from his.

 

 

"I do," Mino answered. Quick and sure.

 

 

"Do you love me?" Seungyoon asked again.

 

 

Mino searches his eyes.

 

"If you've come to believe that love is not something measured by time, then I will say yes. I do love you. And the only reason I have is because ever since I saw you for the first time," Mino keeps his gaze strong and deep to Seungyoon.

 

 

"I lost a piece of me to you and I feel like I will never ever get it back. The only time I feel it back on me is when we touch. And I know people in love doesn't always work it out. But I'll try anything to work it out with you. Maybe I'll grow to hate you, after all, maybe I'll hate your habit or your principle or your way of making decisions. Maybe I'll grow to hate the way you nag, or sing, or laugh. Maybe I'll fall out of love if we keep this up. But I know I still won't get that piece of me back. And that is alright because it's better than letting you go knowing I had a chance."

 

 

A tear slips past Seungyoon and he escapes Mino's gaze this time, leaning his forehead on Mino's shoulder.

 

 

 

"I don't know but maybe.." Seungyoon whispers.

 

 

 

 

 

"Maybe I do love you too,"

 

 

 

 

: :

 

 

 

 

They walk back to the house, trembling under the cold wind. Mino turns on the warm water and they stood under the stream warm shower, studying each other's body. No lust came to them at that moment, only memories. Mino winces at every new bruise he found. Seungyoon smiles and kisses him before they leave the shower.

 

 

 

: :

 

 

 

They lay on the bed as if they've done it a thousand times before. Mino lays on his back, Suengyoon on his side laying his head on Mino's shoulder. Seungyoon can hear his calm heartbeat and he's never had a better sleep.

 

 

 

: :

 

 

 

"I don't see any worrying damage, thankfully. Your lung is working perfectly albeit the blow that seemed to hit you there. You will need much-needed rest and please come back if you feel any sharp pain on your chest or intense dizziness after this. Take these meds and do another check up after a week."

 

 

"Thank you, doctor." Seungyoon bows.

 

 

: :

 

 

 

"He brought his stuff with him," Mino said on their way home.

 

"Hm, did he?" Seungyoon mumbles.

 

 

 

 

"Then maybe he went back to Seoul already," Seungyoon said.

 

 

 

: :

 

 

 

Seungyoon spent the rest of his days at the lake house resting. He asked Mino to stay with him there and he did. They spend almost all of the day talking and merely sitting beside each other. Seungyoon learned a lot about Mino and so did he. The high thick wall is crumbling bit by bit.

 

"Is that the sunflowers blooming?" Seungyoon said one day, on their way back from visiting grandma.

 

Mino peeks from the driver's seat and hums.

 

"Yeah, it bloomed."

 

Seungyoon watches it with awe, eyes wide and glimmering.

 

"Wanna check it out?" Mino asked.

 

Seungyoon walks past the narrow path between the sunflower, feeling like a child again. Sometime during the walk, Seungyoon stops on his track and turns his body to face Mino. Mino stops on his track too, confusion drawn on his feature. Seungyoon just smiles, opening his arms for an embrace and waiting for Mino to come.

 

He does. Seungyoon closes his eyes slowly, resting his cheek on Mino's shoulder and let the green and yellow surrounding them turn into a blurry sight.

 

 

"What if he comes back?" Seungyoon asked.

 

Mino stayed quiet for a few seconds before giving his answer clear and sure.

 

"Then I'll be there."

 

 

 

Seungyoon cried that night, but not of happiness. He feels the actual deep ravine under him and Mino. They will fall and not because fate is the devil, but because the string holding them both is made out of desperation and a thinning lifeline. Seungyoon found him when he’s hurt to no repair, in search of a reaching out hand. And this kind of life is not something he wished for both of them. Seungyoon is scared.

 

 

 

: :

 

 

 

"Are you sure?" Seungyoon whispers to his lips.

 

Mino just smiles and reaches down to align Seungyoon's cock to his entrance. Seungyoon lets out a trembling breath as Mino's tight heat engulf him thoroughly. Mino moans and Seungyoon feels like the room got incredibly hotter. Mino sits straighter above him and moves without warning. Seungyoon keeps his hold on his hips as Mino rides him slowly. The way Mino looked alone is enough to push Seungyoon to the edge, but he holds it with all the restraint in the world. Seungyoon could feel the muscle on Mino's thigh getting harder and Seungyon pushes Mino to lay on his back.

 

The sight of him under him, eyes lidded and lips parted to help him breathe, is breaking Seungyoon to the core. He trusts into Mino faster, causing the man to rut and whimper under him. Seungyoon swallows all the sound he makes with a kiss, whispering to his ears when they're almost out of breath and limit.

 

 

 

"You're everything," Seungyoon whispers.

 

 

 

: :

 

 

 

Seungyoon asked Mino not to see him leave. Because it made things harder. Because it made things painful. Seungyoon rides the train back to Seoul with the memory of arriving together with a man he probably would never see again. Of losing him. Of losing himself. And of finding a part of his heart in the shortest and worse time of his life.

 

 

: :

 

 

"I did not, and I probably would never understand... But if both of you consider that this is the way, I will just wait." Grandma said, stroking Mino's hair while the man rests his head on her lap. Trying hard not to let the misery slips past his eyelid.

 

 

: :

 

 

Mino finds his wings and got the job he wanted in Seoul. The day he came back to Seoul, he got a message from Seungyoon.

 

 

 

‘I saw you. Have you decided to meet the world?'

 

 

 

Mino's heart clench.

 

 

 

‘Yeah. Why didn't you come to me?'

 

 

‘I'm scared.'

 

 

 

‘Don't be.' Mino replied.

 

 

 

‘What did you feel when you saw me?' Mino sent another text.

 

 

 

 

The answer never came.

 

: :

 

 

 

On the day before Seungyoon leaves for Seoul, he and Mino were laying in bed, studying each other's face.

 

 

"If you find me in Seoul... and you still feel the same way for me," Seungyoon said to Mino and the quiet dark room.

 

 

"Then come to me, and hold both of my hands. If I feel the same way I do now... I will give you my heart.. and everything I am. Then maybe, just maybe.. all this will work out."

 

 

Mino feels like breaking apart and disappear in pieces. So he kisses Seungyoon, making it soft, then hard, and burns it with fire just so he can make himself feel something else.

 

Mino kissed him everywhere, touched him everywhere. Feel every surface and corner of Seungyoon's body because god knows when he'll see him again. When Mino dipped on his length, earning grunts and uneven breaths, he marked every sound and let it be tattooed on the back of his mind.

 

 

It will spill blood and the most painful poison to him if things go wrong with them and their hearts, but having a painful trace of Seungyoon is better than nothing at all.

 

 

Seungyoon pulled him up, traces of white on his lips still evident. Seungyoon kissed him slow with a devouring heart, tasting himself on Mino.

 

"You're everything," Mino whispers. Seungyoon wakes up in the middle of the night later on, crying his eyes out on the bathroom, all the while covering his mouth in an attempt to keep his sob for himself.

 

 

: :

 

 

 

It was in the middle of the busiest intersection in Seoul. Early morning, when everyone was busy trying to reach their workplace on time. when kids are yawning from their sleepiness and boredom, having to go to school. It was when Mino, with a thick warm jacket to shield him from the relentless winter chill, stands frozen on one side of the road.

 

 

 

Seungyoon was warming his hands with his breath when he saw him on the other side.  Unlike the time before, this time Mino saw him too. Seungyoon can feel his heart drops down to his stomach.

 

 

Seungyoon has a very clear answer on what he wants, he knew about it months before Mino decided it's time to leave the comfort of unlimited time and make a living in Seoul. Mino found his answer too.

 

 

 

 

: :

 

 _And I can’t forget it_  
All of the love  
All of the love  
As we stood tall together  
All of the love  
All of the love

 

: :

 

 

 

Seungyoon cried when they meet in the middle of the busy intersection, Mino catching both of his hands and grips it so tight with no trace of even the smallest hesitation. Mino cried too when he leans his face closer and whispers.

 

 

"I love you," He said. Short and quick. The three words causing a thunderstorm in Seungyoon's mind. He would be bawling on the ground if not for Mino's hold on both of his hands.

 

"Seungyoon," he calls, between all the people walking past them unknown to their pages and pages of story.

 

 

"How about you?"

 

 

 

 

: :

 

 _I am heavy_  
Can I beat within your heart?  
Can I bleed within your love?

 

 

 

: :

 

 

 

"I love you too."

 

 

 

 

: :

 

 

 

 

We make the timing forever when we are the sort of people who are open to forever, who ready ourselves by not waiting on the universe to hand us things, by getting our shit straight and our heads right, for seeing people in healthy ways and not using people to fill gaps in our hearts.

 

But after that, yeah, when we’re ready, we’ll find someone that doesn’t even make us wonder whether “now” is right. It just will be.

 

-Kris Gage-

 


End file.
